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Good bye [27 Nov 2006|09:55pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i don't think i'll bother writing in here any more.
i've got nothing dramatic to report. This has effected me socially, you know. ever notice how nobody wants to talk to you unless you have something to complain about.

i end up half way through the 'guess who said what' game, spewing out some inconsiquencial quote i stupidly remembered from some innane source, and just before you can say that it was Jean Paul Satre or Thomas Jefferson or....Rick Wakeman, i dunno- you realise that no-one gives a shit because somebody looked at them the wrong way earlier that morning. It upset them and lead them to do stupid things like eating the orange flavoured sweets (which there are always too many of since NO BODY likes them AT ALL).
so...fuck it.

cheers for being my LJ buddies and all, goodbye.

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[14 Nov 2006|05:40pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]


seems nice enough.
It's a big place, so we can act like dicks if neccesry without feeling terribly guilty about it.
One double and some cots, between say three or four...that's a nice little cheap holiday. Being poor ain't so bad.

As far as Vegas goes, the Luxor is always appealing, and the Flamingo expensive 'Flamingo Go Room' has a lcd TV screen in the mirror in the bathroom. It's insanly beautiful in a 70's way. White PVC head board, Candy Stripe wall paper...electronically controlled curtians too. And i car rental place at the front desk. Only trouble is that you have to be at least 21 to book. Looks like it's going to be motel six AGAIN. So we can fall asleep to the sounds of multi-cultural arguments. maybe some porn.

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[03 Nov 2006|04:44pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

My Mother used to know Ralf Steadman a la Fear and Loathing artist Hunter S. affiliate really great sketches guy.
She met him doing Plague and the Moonflower for Richard Harvey. I remember the drawing he did for that scaring the fuck out of me as a kid.
I'm so highly impressed i could cry.

Time for my Steadman icon^^

I'm so buying his book now, I saw it today and thought 'hmmm'.
wonder if i can get enormous ralf posters....
Wonder if Richard has any of his stuff that i could maybe see sometime and oggle a bit....

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[26 Oct 2006|08:53am]
I feel like i've just come off of the worst cocktail of drugs imaginable.

Up all night scribbeling '5:AM BAT COUNTRY' in books and on my wall, hearing things is music i'd never heard before that kept making me have to open my eyes and check i was alone. I thought maybe Jamie was still awake and bumping around downstairs but when i checked the clock it was 5:00 am exactly.

It says 'I'm going MAD.' above my bed and i think maybe i did for a bit.
Eventually came downstairs to watch a familiar film (American Psycho) and fell asleep for maybe a half hour dreaming this one sentance that i was trapped in that looped over and over until i heard Theodore saying 'I'll finish these parts so you can...' which invaded my dream and ended with 'vomit obscenly' which i was considering because it might have helped me pass out for perhaps another half hour or so but i had to go to gus's, which is where i'm going now.
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what it's like inside. [13 Oct 2006|10:14pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Then, more recently, my kidneys started aching, which i took to be a bad sign. Thing was, it had happened once before (i nearly passed out in the toilets of the Barbican men's changing rooms) but then it just dissapated and i'd all but forgotten about it.

I went to the docters today (it was either that or take a psychology test and sit on my kidneys scribbling arse about negative-state releife models for 45 minutes) and she said 'this is not good. why not pee in this cup for me?'
so i did, and it HURT and was messy, but was tested, and was fine.

Then they diagnosed me with probable IBS (which is difficult for me to say whilst trying to project an image of a sexual being) and told me to come back later and see a proper docter, which i did, who was very quite and suggested i eat bran all the time and gave me a subscription for peppermint. ugh.

Now i have to keep a food diary, which i'm really not up for because i can just hear this-

"look, you eat nothing a bit of bread for three days, then here you have three hearty meals of pie, followed by chips, followed by chocolate cake, it's no fucking wonder. and your some sort of obease because every-one is who doesn't souly eat homogenised compost for each meal. and even though you've only had one glass of wine in about two weeks, your still on a slipperly slope to liver failure, blindness, thrush, frostbite, cancer, death and itchy feet, so try and avoid anything you enjoy, it only comes back and bites you in the arse. And we're taking your new phone. You enjoy it to much and, you know, radiation. Here's a percription for lemon sherbert, get the fuck out of my office.
And leave a tip."

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ouch. innards. [11 Oct 2006|04:45pm]
[ mood | caffine crash. ]

this is a song i wrote, with the chrods and everything so you can play it yourself in an upbeat manner at really awful parties. It's a pretty awful song.

E                                   D       C
I'm so bored of feeling sick
B                                  F
folk could say I'm sick of it
Food so healthy,
Organs fit,
Bb                                      A
Every morning feeling SHIT.

(same chords-)

I'm so sick of feeling ill
Dodging food like it were swill
Insides crashing
at their will
Nausea building can't lie still.

It gets tiring feeling faint
dehydration body taint
booze related?
It sure ain't!
may as well be drinking paint.

I'm so sick of feeling crap
writing this self-pitying rap
then in college
sometimes snap
storm off home and take a nap.

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late sundays make me chuckle. [08 Oct 2006|08:03pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I just had to share that i've started just now an draft of drama coursework. I know it's only eight, but i may have been drinking wine. And, sherry. and i just changed my background to this:

TILED, so there's about twenty of that face all over my desk top. I'd written:

"Illustrate how the group planned for a wide range of responses from the audience

In order for a piece of theatre to have lasting value on an audience..."

then i reached for my sherry and now i cannot stop laughing at myself. God help me.

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encountering the jolly locals [04 Oct 2006|09:49pm]
[ mood | cold ]

At Hannah and Nacy's party on Saturday last we all hopped the fence to go hang out in the park.

So heading back we hear this shout of
"Look, we're not gonna hurt you or anyfink cud you please just cum ova here for a moment."
me- "Well..i'm not gonna hurt...*hic* you either, so yeah. Yeah we'll come and enjoy this mutual safe-ness."
Miranda said something nice and they had the kind of friendly conversation that i am TOTALLY incapable of.
so they chatted and told us about how they dropped out of school like we're sopposed to look and them and think, "Wow, getting back on track, that's beautiful, what strong poeple you are. In a park. In the Autumn. At...11:30. wearing puffa-gillettes."

And Ginger is trying to return to the party and hop into her Mothers car, getting her intense pain away from social situations so i say-
"Well Ginger, let's go. I'll...protect you."
for no other reason than i'd been drinking Bull's Blood. Only one of the girls stops me and this happened-

her- "Listen, i'm not bein nasty right?"
Me- "Well, neither am I, so it's all...WONDERFUL..."
her- "Yeah, i ain't bein mean but you know wot you said earlier when we were coming over we said we we'rnt gonna hurt you and you said you weren't gonna hurt us eiver?"
Me- "Yeah, thas right. It was like, a totally painless liason."
her- "Well, i'm not being nasty right, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."
Me- "Ok then. I won't bother."
her- "Yeah, i ain't being nasty, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."

...well i knew Ginger was in pain, so i started the Dylan Moran bit in an attempt to cheer her up-

Me- "I know, I know, i'm not a fighter, i'm a bleeder. The best that could happen would be for me to drown some-one in my own blood."
her- "Well, i'm not being nasty right, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."
Me- "..."
her- "Well, i'm not being nasty right, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."
her- "Well, i'm not being nasty right, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."
her- "Well, i'm not being nasty right, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."
her- "Well, i'm not being nasty right, but you couldn't hurt me if you tried."

i was beginning to wonder if a needle in her brain got stuck in a groove or something. What can you say? i was standing there thinking
'...I Know. you are six feet tall and eight feet wide and your only nine years old. and the puffer Gillette you are wearing is of ugly bronzed hue. So you could kick my ass, what do you want, a fucking biscuit?'

sadly no-one could save me because Ginger was so pained she was doubling over and Miranda and Ben were outside of this little conversation. I just don't understand...People.

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Bozzio strikes again. [30 Sep 2006|02:52pm]

Looks like our ZPZ show wasn't the only example of Terry getting his rocks of from slamming his limbs into things.

Actually, that's a drumming injury. Zappa is dangerous music. It proves how good it is.
  Dunno what Dweeze did to his finger. I haven't the patience to read the rest.

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dealing with hangover-easy method [21 Sep 2006|08:11am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

6:45-Wake up.
some people have headaches as hangovers, but these people are inhuman. Your internal gigga-ma-jaggers will be in termoil. Try streatching your legs out for temporary relife.

6:50- Go to bathroom
6:52- Rest/read.
Lying down like this allows your illness to take full effect, so you know what you are dealing with.

7:00- move from bed to sofa. Allow nausea to build as you watch TV. Good nausea building programmes enclude educational tv for three year olds or decorating programmes with that skinny woman with red hair.
If you don't have a tv, try doing some homework. The concentration needed will work a treat.

this is the fun part! because once you're done and you've regained conciousness, the taste and ease with which yesterday's stomach lining was rejected will guide you to your next actions.

If it is pure acid (a red wine hangover), take an antiacid and drink some cold milk.
If it is luquidy and foul (cidre, or beer) drink cold water and continue vomiting.

They say you shouldn't drink cold things during hangovers, because it is hard on the stomache to have an extreme temperature. This is bollocks. It's not exactly going to stay cold at 37 degrees C down there, and the coolness of it will help to bring down your hang-over temperature!

8:00 people are beggining to wake up, and you should be feeling better. If not, taking some cold water, go out on a very long walk, eventually crashing out on some old station side as the sickness leaves and exhaustion sets in. Depending on how pathetic you look, people may throw money at you, so you can but more water on the way home.
(note, this can actually happen, and it's such a good cause!)

of course the moral you should take away from this is -never to drink so much in the first place!
(Unless you need something to wake you up early)

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oh bollocks. [20 Sep 2006|01:19pm]
Paperwork problems occured, scholarships may have been disscontinued, registers were untrustworthy, a teacher was genuinely insensitive...
i ran out, i came back, my entire head was all blood-shot from the tears squeezing out of it's bloatedness. I wondered how there could be water in there i thought it was full of air.

Apparently, i don't EXISIST as a pupil at Beaumont school.
So the worst come to the worst, i'll be kicked out of lessons and have to get a job or go to college and lose EVERYTHING.
And not move out to Calif next year.
and die, full of holes. in a rain barrel.

and i can't  tell my family because they'll think it was my fault (which it kind of may have been a bit due to unfortunate ignorance) and get upset and try to dabble with things and then not understand them whereas i will and they'll cry and worry. so it's being sorted (ish) and i'll see how it goes and then if it fucks up royally, i'll tell them. If not, i will wait twenty years, then mention it casually after i get them drunk and feed them lots of great food.
Theo just phoned and i couldn't tell him and it felt so exceptionally bizarre to be keeping things from him.    : (

i feel woozy.

tonight, i shall drink.
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death has a vesper. [17 Sep 2006|07:44pm]
[ mood | still bored, but drunk ]

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[17 Sep 2006|03:55pm]
[ mood | bored ]

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Dylan Moran at Hammersmith Apollo [16 Sep 2006|05:49pm]
(sorry about the fun with colours. What do you expect from being ill on a saturday?)

Good god he cracks me up.
Even though with service charge three tickets cost me 65 QUID it was actually well worth it. I don't belive i've laughed so hard it gave me a headache since i was about 5 years old (but everything is so funny at that age. As Dylan has said, what are children but drunk midgets?)
And i got to go with Gus (whom i have MISSED BITTERLY) and Ben, who are very dear to me, Ben now more than ever, especially due to his BLISTERING MAN-CRUSH on Dylan.
While we were all walking home Gus and I were japing him and saying "Imagine turning around and seeing that face smiling down at you...then he sits behind you at your collage desk and braids yout hair while you're concentrating on writing...brushes past you and 'accidently' drops a flower on your desk..."
He giggled through the mist for about three minutes. Bless 'im.

The gig was being FLIMED so there was this highly distracting camera swooping over our heads through-out, plus mine and Ben's laughter is LOUD and DISTINCTIVE so Gus (the silent laugher)  tells us so you can probably hear us if they put our show on DVD (fingers crossed). Listen for laughter after "then you kill her with a trowel" and "You're both all...covered in...crisps..." Because the loudest sound amoungst the tittering is either me or Ben.
This is assuming you will buy the dvd because you'd be MAD NOT TO.

It was wonderful to share japes with Gus again. We havn't shared japes since we used to skip philosophy to watch the x-files and eat jordan's....sigh...
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Guess who's departure date was on the 10th? [15 Aug 2006|05:15pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Why muggins here of course!

After being schedualed for explosion by some silly terrorists, flight aa51 made it out after about 7 hours waiting for clearance from the government of the united states.
OH SAY CAN YOU SEE and so forth.
On our plane was a man who blocked the door of the toilets so he could do pelvic thrusts in my sleeping face for honestly about two hours.
He and his wife also changed their baby ON THE SEAT in the departure lounge for all to see. And it was the whole business as well. That baby wasn't kidding.

Now i'm in los mountains running around and falling down and drinking corner street piss and chasing racoons and such for Dave Peck's Birthday.
Happy birthday him.

I hope no-one has had flight trouble.

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[12 Jul 2006|06:27pm]
[ mood | cold ]

How can i be ill?
I eat nothing but fruit. Wine counts as fruit.

Had a great Party on Monday night, Ben and Gus and Jeffs stayed over, we just watched Black Books all night and talked arse. Although the next day i was a little slice of death, i could "feel bits of my brain falling out of my ears like...wet cake." I threw up during psychology and fell asleep about 8 times. I wrote a whole two sheets with my eyes shut.

I really thought i should go easy after the weekend and all, earlier nights, meals, sobriety e.t.c. because i have these horrific bruises all over my legs from where i've fallen gracefully down the stairs in my new white go-go boots. It's all shades of wonder, like a calming hippie painting. There was such an anemic amount of blood eminating from my ankle, my knee, my ear etc i decided to take some healing time. But that's kind of fallen through because i have this sort of cloud over me in the form of a conciusness-disstorting sinus-bashing throat-rotting cold.

I was actually unreasonable in Drama today.
Although, between you and me a cirtain person is GETTING ON MY NERVES and i always seem to end up working with said hormonal thorn. It's sad because i know i can be good at drama, but i'm such a blank lately. I have only the urge to write about nothing. Anyway, we pissed her off by shouting "ROWEEEENA!" and jumping around with our ankles behind our necks, so that vented a little.

So i'm chomping on some ten year old super-ted pills that have warped with decrepancy and drinking some fizzy-fizzy-maky-feel-better. If i sleep once in a while instead of watching Bill Baily and Irish related comedy then i may just heal up and stop feeling sorry for myself and do something of worth and significance to some-one. Then again, i'm rather strung out, and i've just lost a DVD to it's rightful owner.

So how is every one?

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aspects of this tale are slightly embelished. [08 Jul 2006|09:09am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I Stayed at ginger's last night. When i woke up i realised one side of me was damp, i don't know quite why.
I went out walking is some strange sort of daze with a cup in one hand full of paracetamol water. I looked like Bill Baily, on ritilin. With a C-cup.
"You're up bright and early!"
"Well observed."
"Where you headed?"
I sort of squinted at him. I wondered for a moment if he was really there.
"I'm looking for some place nice. To throw-up."
There was a pregnant lady near by who was watching me with disdain. I had dark circles that could choke a small mule.
"Stop it." I said. She sort of looked around. "I know what your thinking, but kids can turn out alot worse than me. I may be hallucinating but at least i'm still a virgin."
And it was true, i was hallucinating (always good for a laugh) because i could hear Gus and i knew she wasn't there. And i thought the noise of a dove was a bloke.

I was just being a right wanker.
I'm a disgusting annatractive person. I'm dirty and totally unabashed. I'm polite but i don't really care. I'm a smelly pirate hooker, drunken tripping escapist mammal. I'm not selfish but i'm TOTALLY self obssesed.
I feel great today. I really feel like i can inflict myself on people because i know i'm not really a wanker, i'm just putting it on for japes. What i'd really like is to sleep.
I may just do that.
See you later, Ginger.

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thank god for putting the picture option back up [05 Jul 2006|05:53pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

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That's right folks, It's that time again! [02 Jul 2006|05:18pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

Tommorow, after first lesson i'm buggering off to Reading for the Red Hot Chili Peppper's concert with Jamie, Dale and Bellshine.

I've already missed two stints of Philosophy and Ethics, so i have the feeling i'll get severely pink-slipped unless one of you kind friends tells Bates and Eugene that I have an Appointment  at the Family Planning clinic or something. I'd be very greatful.

The fun news is,
Went to see RH and GP and JW and some crazy weird prucussionist who talks to himself and makes buzzing noises while he plays, and Richard says he's got a new film for Punky to work on.

It's a documentary style comedy by FilmFour about the assasination of George.W.Bush.

She's also supposed to be doing the music on a new film where the composer is Nick Lenny Smith who did-....Pirates of the Carribean.

Cool, huh?
i'll keep posted about RHCP.

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[07 Jun 2006|10:15pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I got stufff i wanna say but i can't be arsed to write it right now.

It's mainly a load of arse anout my life.
Which is thrilling to me, at least....


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